introspeksi

Last night hit me like a slap in the face.

One that I must embrace gracefully, and wittingly; because that’s what great people do. I’m not great –yet- , therefore I find it very hard and painful to swallow my oh-so-big pride and shut my conscience which kept screaming at me to dig a hole in the ground and lay there and die. Dealing with failure and criticism really takes a lot ya. And more when the consequences affects other people too..

Honestly I hoped a miracle would happen, like maybe I was punk’d, and then that guy I’ve had a crush on all year was the one who requested it. And then we’d laugh altogether to the camera. me, him, my friends, his friends the crew, etc., etc.,, and then he’d hug me and say actually it was another punk because in fact, we’re on katakan cinta.. and then i'd pick the pink roses on his right hands instead of the yellow ones on the other, because that would mean: 'yes'. And then everyone would cheer and we would have to make those corny cheesy testimonials about how we got to know each other and stuff. hahahahahaha Now, now, It couldn’t be that miraculous could it?

why am i such a slow learner? argh.. and a lazy one too.

well anyway,, after the self blaming the next step to greatness are accepting and learning. Now that i've recognized my flaws i have to do something, a lot of things, to make them up.

ayolah bersemangaaaattttttttttttt!!!!!!!!!!!!!