AFter 2 weeks of sulking, occassional crying, and negative responses to people i decided it is time to embrace the facts and downfalls of my life rather than trying to change it.
It is time that i acccept that:
1. That guy i've had crush/fling/whatever for the last couple of months isn't going to be anything more anytime soon. i really dont know why, and how should i???? I'd like to assume it is because he can't get over his past love, so it is not my fault.
2. The majority of Adm 2006 isn't gonna start paying attention or respect or most importantly value the trainings or assignments my friends and i arranged for their inititation. Which demanded 1 year's worth of our time and endless battles to fight our own demons, the faculty, et cetera, et cetera. All these times for WHAT???? Must feel blessed by the minority that would. Must. Must.
3. Girl A, B, C, D, E, F, G isn't going to come clean to each other anytime soon. Continue to protect, lie, and protect each other all to their own good misery. Me being in the middle, the spectator perhaps, with tears of frustation watching trying to get aside.
4. I'm not in a band anymore.
5. Dori's gone
6. I dont have the capability to vent my anger or sadness to anyone else but myself because i hate conflicts. I do. I prefer to be seemed happy, because most of the time it makes me forget. But the problem never really go away, do they?
7. It is the story of my life, being a neutral. Why complain? because it isn't always so good to be one.. because you've got to keep secrets, lie, act, and keep a facade.
Anyway..
I'm digging up a big big big hole to bury those stuff into. a big 4 inch smile should fit.
:))
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